Bawling Like A Baby

You may or may not know I teach a prenatal yoga class on Friday mornings at Toronto Yoga Mamas, a pre and post-natal yoga studio in downtown Toronto’s East Side.

This past week we focused our practice on The Spine and our theme was ‘Tension’.  I have been taking some pride in planning and theme-ing my classes the past few weeks, aiming to build in structure and cohesion to the poses, breath-work and meditation.

To start class, each Mama got into a comfortable position and I read this little blurb on Motherhood that my fancy and beautiful friend Rosilee wrote.  I am glad to say that I almost couldn’t get through it for the tears screaming forth.  Something took over me.  I held it together, but I more or less could have bawled like a baby.

Here it goes:

Being a mother has not come easily for me.  I grew up dreaming about becoming a mom and had always believed I was well-suited for the role.  After seven fabulous years as a couple, our first  pregnancy and birth were more wonderful than we could have hoped and my expectations were soaring as I dove head-first into my life as a mother.  As we’ve changed and grown as a family, it isn’t hard to embrace my three children whole-heartedly; I am overwhelmed by their incredible capacity for wonder, curiousity, magic and love.  In the midst of the magic though, if I’m honest, there is still a certain sadness as I mourn the loss of the life I had, and loved, before my kids came along.  There is always a tension inside me between letting go and embracing, needing and meeting needs, welcoming the new and letting the old slip away.  This tension that I feel brings a certain fierceness to the love that I have for my family because I know that the incredibly meaningful moments that we share and the life we have together takes hard work and a lot of sacrifice from each of us.  We have each given ourselves to this family, and together we are writing an incredible love story.  

Bless you Rosilee.  Thanks for sharing your gift of writing and your experience in Motherhood.  🙂
May each of you have light and acceptance in your tension.

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